


Pillow Talk

by BeastOfTheSea



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Crack, Humor, Kink Meme, M/M, Oneshot, Slash, kink meme deanon, kink meme prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4031887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeastOfTheSea/pseuds/BeastOfTheSea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://fekink.dreamwidth.org/866.html?thread=5730#cmt5730">For the prompt:</a> <i>Frederick/Chrom</i></p>
<p>  <i>Frederick has a good reference of Chrom's naked body obviously if he goes around posting his nude posters</i></p>
<p><a href="http://fekink.dreamwidth.org/866.html?thread=62818#cmt62818">De-anon</a> from the Dreamwidth Fire Emblem Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pillow Talk

"Lord Chrom, I cannot understand the problem. I find nothing more motivational than the sight of your impeccable musculat-"  
  
Chrom covered his face with both hands. "Yes, but that's _you_!" he exclaimed through gritted teeth. "Nobody else can take it seriously! Gods, Cordelia can't even _look_ at me after that poster. She's so embarrassed that, at the mere sight of me, she turns red and nearly passes out!"  
  
Frederick thought Cordelia's problem was not quite "embarrassment". Her infatuation with Lord Chrom was well-known to the entire army... except, apparently, Lord Chrom himself. "With all respect, milord, I disagree," he said. "That rogue, Gaius, told me at length how inspired he was by the sight of your physique. He vowed on the spot to procure several bottles of the richest sauces from the enemy stores, then pour it over you and lick it o-"  
  
"GODS!"  
  
"I know," Frederick said sternly. "I told him that it would be terribly wasteful. Perhaps such inefficiency would be tolerated by the scoundrels with whom he was accustomed to associate, but not amongst the Shepherds. He told me, and I quote, 'to yank the stick out of' - my posterior. I informed him that I had never had such objects inserted within my body, as it did not suit my tastes-"  
  
"Oh _gods_." Chrom let out a low, pained moan.  
  
"Is there something the matter, Lord Chrom?" Frederick paused. He recalled a similar sound of distress. "As your sworn protector, I am in disgrace if, through some oversight, I have allowed you to sample another dish of Sully's cooking."  
  
" _What?_ No! That's not it! Just-" Chrom took a hand away from his face, burying it in his hair. "Frederick? Just... never do anything like that in the future. Ever. That is an order from your lord."  
  
"I shall be certain to obey, Lord Chrom." Frederick propped himself up on one elbow, looking upon the exposed body of his liege. It was perfect and handsome beyond compare, and yet... "Milord, I am sorry. I did not realize your left nipple was slightly smaller than your right. Such inaccuracy is inexcusable. No wonder you objected to my portrait." He shook his head in dismay. "And I did not accurately capture the way the light reflects off of your abdomen. Furthermore... I believe I was basing my recollection off of the nights we spent in Regna Ferox. It is now evident that you were experiencing a mild case of shrinkage." He rolled out of bed, immediately seizing his clothes and dressing with knightly efficiency and scrupulous attention to form as he strode towards the door of Lord Chrom's bedroom. "I have failed in my duties as a knight. I must go forth and immediately provide revised versions, lest others gaze upon my flawed portraits and develop unjust opinions of your masculinity and aptitude-"  
  
" _Frederick! NO! That's an order! I - Frederick! Frederick, COME BACK HERE!_ "


End file.
